I don't know the reason why I should write this down.
But, I've been thinking this last night and I couldn't sleep
so I decided to write this...
Well, I'm here again...
I don't know what's wrong with me
Why should write this blog of mine..
Maybe it's because something's bothering me
& I decided to write this...
Anyway, I want to tell you (my crush) this,
I don't know why I'm always afraid ...
Afraid of these things happening right now..
I never thought that a lot likes you, not
only me, but others..
I don't know what I like about you,
but when I saw you one day, I felt
something strange, the feeling of
admiration or it can be infatuation...
At first I didn't mind you,
but now, here I am, collecting your pictures
and my computer's full of your pics..
I always wanted to see you,
but I know it can't be...
You're there & I'm here..
It's okay for me too say these things
but deep inside me, I felt bad 'cause of you..
Last time my mom caught me watching me a drama
& she said that, "Why are you keep on watching that?
Or else, I'll send you there..." (it's actually in Ilonggo)
You know what I feel? I felt happy when she said that
but I know she's just joking me...
My friends knew how I liked you,
That's why I thanked them for being there for me
For making me happy when I felt sad & when
I feel down....
In our school, there's this a group of girls
who like you & your other friends. At first,
they get mad at us for no reason & they are
like our "stalkers" at that time. Then, we said
sorry to them, then we became friends.
I just realize last November that one of them
is backbiting me but I didn't mind her.
Then, just this December, we just found out
that they get mad at us again, once again for no reason.
Isn't that weird? Getting mad at us for no reason?
We were just shocked when suddenly in a certain website,
we found that the 3 of them is backbiting us already.
and this time, we said to ourselves that, we won't
say sorry to them, anyway, it's not our fault. It's them
who should say sorry & not us....
So moving on with my feelings,
this 2010, I don't know what would happen.
I'm really afraid that you would be exposed.
I felt scared, afraid, sad & also anger...
but I'm happy, so happy that I met you..
Thanks to my friend who introduce me to you
or rather introduce you to me, whatever it is,
I thanked her so much...
By the way, there's this girl, who's always
calling me "oka-san". Actually, she's my
tutor mate & we also go to the same school
but she's in another class or year.
At first I don't feel her so much, because
I didn't know her that much.
So, after how many days of silence in our
tutor, we became friends & we always play
'truth or dare', having fun..something like that..
Suddenly or one day, she told my friend something,
something 'secret' that she's keep on saying, "maybe she'll
get hurt" (in Ilonggo, "basi ma hurt siya") & my friend's
telling her that, "hambali na lang siya bala" ("tell her already").
So she told me that, "Oka-san, don't get hurt okay?"
Then I said, "Okay, what is it?"
"I have a crush on -------(I can't tell you his name, sorry), are you mad?"
at first I'm speechless on what she said but then I told her that,
"No, it's okay for me". So, she's happy to hear what I said.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In our tutor, when we're always playing 'truth or dare',
she's keep on asking me his name (my crush's name), so I'm telling
her. When it's my turn to have the truth or the dare, of course
I would choose truth rather than dare, she's keep on asking me the
questions, "If ------- & you going to get married, would you accept it?"
& other questions related to the first question & about me & him..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*End of Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
At these times, I came to realize that I think
there's something going on & she's keep on
telling me to show his picture. But at that time,
I guess she also have feelings for him (gosh it's making me cry)
)When we once we chatted over ym,
I was shocked when she told me that
She has also have a crush on my friend's crush,
which is my crush's friend.
But she told me that she LOVES him
& the other one is just a CRUSH.
It really hurts me that I heard or read
those words she told me....I thought
she only had a crush on him, but I didn't
expect it. She once asked me if who is
her oto-san, of course I would say it's him
& no other. So, there's another thing that
I didn't expect. She made a story that includes
her, him & others....when once I read it, I felt
something like hatred, I know I shouldn't do that
because she's my friend & I know it's just a
story & nothing else...
So, moving on, I had a bad feeling for her.
Not really that I hate her that much, I just felt
disappointed because she's my friend but then
there's something that I can't explain & she told
us that she's collaborating w/ one of our enemies.
and one time, in our tutor, she brought a poster
of them (band) & she's so over acting 'cause
she said that it's not here's & it's the girl's
poster (she's one of our enemies).
Anyway, I don't care if she's friends w/ her.
I don't need to stop her for making friends w/ them,
it's just that she's spreading "the virus" (the band)
to her other batch mates, so my friend told her
to tell her friend & others not to spread them or
else, there's a BIG PROBLEM....
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